Resolutions Never Work!

Why I Quit Making Resolutions

Just the very word seemed negative. And then seeing people around me make statements... that they never finished or followed through with.

Unfinished business.

Promises made and broken.

Projects started and left for someone else to pick up.

So.. yeah, it was negative to me. Like trying to get to a destination without a map.

And like everyone on a new year's excitement and energy high of newness, I was thinking over the past few days... why do I not make resolutions?

I got the old fashioned paper dictionary out (determined to lessen my time on the phones!) and looked up resolution and the word goal. Here is what i found...

Resolution: n. 1. The act or result of resolving something. 2. A thing determined upon; a decision as to future action.

Resolve: to break up into separate parts, to change, to reach as a decision, to solve a problem.

Resolute: fixed and firm in purpose, determined. * (Webster's Dictionary)

Resolutions are born out of a need to fix a problem, a bad habit, to "once and for all" do a new thing. To make a change, to create something positive. But usually these resolutions have no step by step game plan or clear future directive. There is no end or middle, just a need and desire for change.

Now.. to partner Resolution with Goals...

Goal: "boundary" 1. the place at which a race, trip, etc is ended. 2. an end that one strives to attain n. object, aim, intent, end, Purpose.

A goal that gets results has clear boundaries, what you can do, and will not do, and cannot do. A goal has a beginning and an end. And a PURPOSE!

The Resolution says "I will start or be.... this every day!" Without context, without a future plan, without steps, and boundaries.

The most common resolution....

"I will go to the gym and work out every week, 3-4 times a week!!" And so off they go, to find a gym with a January sale, cool music, pumped dudes showing off shiny muscles, and no one there to instruct on how to get started. Been there, done that!

When we say, "I want to get fit," we're expressing a desire for change without creating a framework for achieving it. This vagueness is often what leads to failure – we can't navigate toward an unclear target.

The questions I now ask as I think of that resolution and even challenge you to ask yourself with any kind of resolution you want to create...

1. WHY? What about you says you need to work out? or go to a gym? or try to be "in shape"

2. WHAT is your purpose? Do you have health goals? Relationship goals? Business goals?

3. HOW do you start? What is the first "end result" goal you need to achieve?

4. WHEN will go you? What days of the week are going to work and which ones will not work? What times are best?

5. WHO will help keep you accoutable? Yes.. WHO... can you trust to tell you that you are doing great, or that you need to slow down, or eat better, or eat differently.. etc.

6. WHERE will you go? Will the location fit into your driving flow? Will you actually make the effort if the place is a little out of the way? Do you need to change locations to make time a better option?

A Resolution cannot work without a Goal.

The Goal gives us steps, direction, boundaries. The goal is a clear defined path to make way for the Resolution. Which in fact will fail. We will get derailed. Life will happen, schedules will change, injuries happen, kids needs will be bigger than our own, etc. This is when the Resolutions fall by the wayside.

And then we feel like a failure.

We may try again...

but those feelings can be ugly and overpowering, so the old habits come back.

This is when you need to give yourself Space for Grace.

When life takes you on a journey, and you are not the driver, give your mind, body and emotions space for grace. Life will always have a cahlenge or speed bump, or redirect. Sometimes God will take you in a new direction altogether. God's grace is enough and plenty to carry us.

GRACE: goodwill, favor. A delay granted for payment of an obligation.

mercy, forgiveness

When you dont' reach your goals in a time frame that you wanted, grace is the mercy that says.... Keep trying, it's ok to be delayed or change course.

Give yourself mercy, forgive others and yourself. Give yourself permission to either start over, or pick up where you left off.

God's grace says, He is enough to sustain and cover you. so therefore, you are enough.

Begin again... Make those goals, declare that Resolution. But, make sure those small in between steps are put into place! Without the small steps, we cannot climb to the top of anything! And most of the time, we need another set of hands to help us!

Why Small Steps??

Small steps are powerful because they:

* Build confidence through regular wins

* Create sustainable habits gradually

* Provide clear, actionable tasks

* Make progress visible and measurable

* Reduce the likelihood of burnout or giving up

When we achieve these smaller milestones, we get doses of success that fuel our motivation. Each completed step reinforces our belief that we can reach our ultimate goal. Like checking off tasks on a to do list! ;)

Some Biblical Wisdom on Goals and Perseverance

God's Word provides unaged wisdom about setting goals and working diligently toward them. Let's look at a few verses...

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." (Proverbs 16:3) This reminds us that aligning our goals with our godly values creates a strong foundation.

"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:14) Paul's words emphasize the importance of maintaining focus and moving forward persistently.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9) This verse beautifully captures the essence of taking small steps - persistence yields results.

"Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." (Proverbs 15:22) This highlights the importance of seeking support and guidance in achieving your goals! Find your person or group to support you!